Calais: France's Secret Gem? You Won't Believe What's Hidden Here!
Calais: France's Secret Gem? Oh, You Won't Believe What's Actually Hidden Here! (A Messy Review)
Alright, buckle up buttercups, because I'm about to take you on a whirlwind tour of Calais: France's Secret Gem? Yeah, well, let's just say "secret" is putting it mildly. I've been there, I've seen it, and I've lived it. This isn't your polished brochure; this is the real, slightly-stained truth. And honestly? It's got some serious charm.
Accessibility: A Mixed Bag, Like My Packing Skills
First things first, let's talk accessibility. Calais itself? Finding your way around as a visitor is pretty easy. The car park [free of charge] was a lifesaver, let me tell you. After a long drive, that was a huge relief. But how accessible is the gem itself?
Well, the hotel I crashed at (details later – gotta build suspense, right?), had facilities for disabled guests. That's a big thumbs up from me. Elevator? Check. But navigating the general areas presented some challenges. Pacing can get tricky, but still possible. And while the city website boasts "accessible routes," let's just say Google Maps might get a little… adventurous, particularly when factoring in the famous gusts.
On-site accessible restaurants / lounges: I can't confidently confirm this, and I didn't actively search for them. My priorities were more… immediate.
Wheelchair accessible: I didn't personally assess this, but the hotel's general layout seemed promising. Contacting the property directly would be the best bet.
Internet – Oh, the Internet! A Saga in Itself.
Internet access: Yes! Thank goodness. In this day and age? Essential. Free Wi-Fi in all rooms! Hallelujah! Internet [LAN]: Present too. I'm not exactly a tech wizard, but it seemed to work. Internet services: Don't recall anything remarkable beyond the standard offering
Wi-Fi in public areas: Spotty, I found. Frustrating, but not a deal-breaker.
Things to Do (And Ways to Relax, Because Let's Face It, We ALL Need It!)
Okay, so Calais. Let's address the elephant in the room: it's not the Eiffel Tower. But! It does have its own quirky pleasures. The beach is… well, the beach. Windy, sometimes grey, but hey, it's the sea! And then there are the little hidden gems.
Now, about relaxation… This is where my experience diverged from the usual, and I'm here to be honest, it's not all perfect and smooth as butter. As in, I didn't get much.
Pool with view, Spa/sauna, Steamroom, Swimming pool: This hotel had… nothing. Gym/fitness: Another no-go, sadly. Massage: I'd have loved it. But no. Body scrub, Body wrap, Foot bath: Okay, I'll admit it: I didn't exactly have the time or the funds for that. Sauna, Spa/sauna, Steamroom, Swimming pool [outdoor]: Nope, just a pretty basic room Fitness center: Well, there's the beach, I guess. Getting your exercise there.
I spent far too much time sitting in a bar near the beach. I drank a lot of coffee. There was a distinct lack of pampering. This wasn't the place to expect a luxury spa holiday.
And yet, I found myself… relaxed. The simple act of being there, breathing in the sea air, was enough.
Cleanliness and Safety: Trying to Be Positive, Despite My Anxiety
Okay, so this is where things get serious. Post-pandemic, safety is on everyone's mind.
Cleanliness and safety: Generally, I felt safe. Anti-viral cleaning products: Assumed to be used. Didn't exactly see the cleaning crew with a microscope. Breakfast in room: I didn't order this, but it was offered Breakfast takeaway service: See above. Cashless payment service: Check. Thank God. Not a fan of fumbling for coins, but it did take a while for the payment terminal to load. Daily disinfection in common areas: Likely. Everything seemed neat. Doctor/nurse on call, First aid kit: Well, in case you're in a crisis. Hand sanitizer: Present. You know, like, everywhere. It's the new normal, folks. Hot water linen and laundry washing: Hopefully. Hygiene certification: Did not check for any, but it was clean. Individually-wrapped food options: Pretty much standard. Physical distancing of at least 1 meter: Mostly observed. Professional-grade sanitizing services: Unsure, but it felt clean. Room sanitization opt-out available: Didn't ask. Rooms sanitized between stays: Hopefully. Safe dining setup: Pretty much standard. Sanitized kitchen and tableware items: Well, they looked clean! Shared stationery removed: Yes. Staff trained in safety protocol: Probably. Sterilizing equipment: Unsure, but I felt generally okay.
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking: Food Glorious Food (And Wine, Because, France!)
Dining, drinking, and snacking: Oh, yes! This is where Calais truly shines.
A la carte in restaurant: Yes! Always a good sign. Alternative meal arrangement: I didn't ask, frankly. Asian breakfast, Asian cuisine in restaurant: No. It's France, people! Bar: Definitely! The lifeblood of any good trip. Bottle of water: Included. Breakfast [buffet]: The buffet? Glorious! Breakfast service, Buffet in restaurant: Incredible Coffee/tea in restaurant, Coffee shop: Everywhere. Desserts in restaurant: You are in France. Of course! Happy hour: Didn't find. International cuisine in restaurant: More like "French-ish!" Poolside bar, Restaurants, Room service [24-hour]: N/A. Salad in restaurant, Soup in restaurant: Present. Vegetarian restaurant: Not that I could see. Western breakfast, Western cuisine in restaurant: The breakfast was phenomenal, all Western.
The most amazing experience with dining:
I have to tell you about the restaurant. I swear it was like something out of a movie. Classic French, I was sitting at a simple table with a candle. The waiter? He was a legend, a true character. The food was… transcendental. The wine was perfect. The conversation flowed like the Seine. They had a French onion soup, oh my lord, I am still dreaming of that soup. Delicious, the bread was incredible. Afterwards, they served the desserts. I can't tell you enough about it. This restaurant made the trip. It was the heart of the whole thing. I would go back to Calais for that single meal.
Services and Conveniences: What Else Ya Got?
Services and conveniences: Okay, let's tick these off quickly.
Air conditioning in public area: Present! Audio-visual equipment for special events: Probably. Business facilities: Yes. Cash withdrawal: Yup. Concierge: Yes. Contactless check-in/out: Present and appreciated Convenience store: Nope. Currency exchange: Probably. Daily housekeeping: It was tidy! Doorman: Yep. Dry cleaning: Didn't use it. Elevator: Yes. Essential condiments: Available. Facilities for disabled guests: Yes. Food delivery: Maybe. Gift/souvenir shop: N/A Indoor venue for special events: Yes. Invoice provided: Yes. Ironing service: Yes. Laundry service: Probably. Luggage storage: Probably. Meeting/banquet facilities, Meetings, Meeting stationery, On-site event hosting, Outdoor venue for special events: I have seen all of those. Projector/LED display, Safety deposit boxes, Seminars, Shrine, Smoking area, Terrace, Wi-Fi for special events, Xerox/fax in business center: All of these were available to some extent.
For the Kids: Family Fun? Maybe.
For the kids:
Babysitting service, Family/child friendly, Kids facilities, Kids meal: I saw some kids, but Calais isn't exactly Disneyland. It's more of a "sandcastle and ice cream" kind of place. I didn't investigate any of these offerings.
Access, CCTV in common areas, CCTV outside property, Check-in/out [express], Check-in/out [private], Couple's room, Exterior corridor, Fire extinguisher, Front desk [24-hour]: All of these were in presence.
**Hotel Chain, Non-smoking rooms, Pets allowed unavailablePets allowed, Proposal spot, Room decorations, Safety/security feature, Security [24-hour], Smoke alarms, Soundproof rooms, all
Escape to Paradise: Tenby's Luxurious Everwyn Lodge with Hot Tub!
Okay, deep breath. Calais. France. Land of… well, I’m not entirely sure yet. I’m trying to embrace the messy, the unpredictable, the "let’s just see what happens" aspect of travel. Forget the perfectly curated Instagram feeds. This is real life, baby. So, here we go – or, more accurately, here I go.
My Calais Chaos: A Stream-of-Consciousness Itinerary (or, Things I HOPE to Achieve in France)
Day 1: Arrival & the Undignified Scramble
- Morning (or, the Very Early Morning): The ferry from Dover. Honestly, the seagulls are already judging me. I swear I saw one wink. (Or maybe I'm sleep-deprived. Jet lag, here I come!) The crossing was… well, it was a boat. Cold. Smelly. Full of people clutching their coffees like lifelines. I’m already running late, because I lost my passport for 5 minutes… PANIC ATTACK. Found it wedged between my passport and my overly optimistic phrasebook. Phew.
- Mid-Morning: Arrived in Calais. Beautiful weather. The rental car situation. OK, this is where things got dicey. Let’s just say I’m not fluent in French despite my best efforts, and the rental agent had a very… expressive eyebrow. It ended with a lot of pointing, confused shrugs, and me accidentally taking the manual for a forklift instead of a car. The guy probably thought I was insane, but eventually, I prevailed and drove away feeling like I’d just survived a gladiator match.
- Quirky Observation: French drivers are aggressive. Or, at least, they think their horns are wind chimes. Every minor perceived infraction results in a symphony of honking.
- Lunch: Found a little boulangerie (bakery) near the train station. The smell of fresh bread nearly knocked me over. I bought a baguette so crusty it could probably double as a weapon. Then, I mangled my attempts to order a sandwich. The woman behind the counter looked both amused and horrified. It was the best baguette I've ever tasted, though. Definitely worth the embarrassment, which I'm starting to consider a travel souvenir.
- Emotional Reaction: Pure, unadulterated joy. That bread. That sunshine. I could forget my troubles for a moment.
- Afternoon: Calais Town Center: I ended up wandering around the town center. I was going to see the famous "Les Bourgeois de Calais" statue, but the GPS lead me to some random side street, so I decided to wander. I did stumble upon a hidden, slightly unkempt, square with a fountain that looked like it hadn’t been cleaned since the French Revolution. I sat on a bench and just… people-watched. Saw a woman feeding pigeons who looked like she’d been doing it for decades, a couple arguing passionately in French (which sounded far more romantic than it really was, I'm sure), and a group of kids playing some kind of game with a crumpled-up plastic bottle.
- Anecdote: At one point, I tried to take a picture of a ridiculously fluffy dog. The dog, clearly unimpressed, just stared me down. I felt judged by a dog.
- Evening: Dinner at a restaurant called Le Petit Poisson (The Little Fish). The food was fine, but honestly, the best part was the waiter. He was an older gentleman with a twinkle in his eye who kept slipping me extra bread and winked at me when I spilled my wine. (Which, predictably, I did.)
- Minor Category: Accommodation: My slightly depressing, budget hotel room. The bed looks suspicious. Cross fingers I survive the night!
Day 2: The Beach, The Bunker and the Bout of Existential Dread
- Morning: The Beach! I had to hit the beach. The sea air was doing wonders for my soul, even if it was freezing; I swear, I even saw a dolphin!
- Anecdote: Built a sandcastle. Failed miserably. My sandcastle looked like it had survived a nuclear blast, but I had fun.
- Opinionated Language: The beach is amazing, but seriously, why isn't there more public loo access?
- Mid-Morning: The Second World War Bunker. I spent the hours wandering around the place. I was hoping for an educational experience and… I found it. Dark, cold, and eerily quiet inside. The remnants of the past.
- Emotional Reaction: Walking through those bunkers was a sobering experience. It felt like I could almost hear the echoes of the people who lived through it. It was a hard moment, I can't lie.
- Lunch: Another boulangerie, because, well, bread. I'm pretty sure I've eaten nothing but bread and cheese at this point. And a rather sad-looking salad.
- Messier Structure: Okay. So, I might have skipped lunch. I just felt weird. I went for a walk, and had an overwhelming wave of… well, I don't even know. Thoughts about life. The meaning of it all. Just a really long, lonely moment.
- Afternoon: Shopping and a Second Attempt at "Les Bourgeois de Calais" It was the perfect day to embrace my inner tourist. A little bit of souvenir shopping - I bought a beret that looks ridiculous but makes me laugh. I eventually made my way to "Les Bourgeois de Calais" statue.
- Quirky Observation: The statue itself is a pretty imposing and thought-provoking piece of work. But the pigeons are clearly not impressed.
- Evening: I found a little jazz club. Drinking my wine in the dark, listening to amazing music.
Day 3: Departure (and Possible Future Therapy)
- Morning: A final croissant and another walk by the sea.
- Opinionated Language: The worst thing about Calais? Having to leave! The best thing? The bread.
- Mid-Morning: The car rental return. Pray for me; I’m pretty sure I scratched the fender. The end of the trip. The end of peace.
- Afternoon: The ferry back to Dover. Feeling sad to leave, but relieved to be going home.
- Minor Category: The ferry. Again. Same seagulls, same smell. I’ve embraced the chaos of the ferry ride, and the chaos of Calais. I think I’m actually going to miss it.
- Evening: Back in England. And already dreaming of returning to that boulangerie…. and maybe learning some actual French. And possibly also getting therapy.
(Disclaimer: This itinerary is subject to change, spontaneous diversions, and a general lack of planning. Also, I am prone to losing things. Don't judge.)
Enfield Paradise: 2-Bed Flat w/ Balcony & Parking! (London)
So, *why* are we even doing this FAQ thing? Does anyone actually *read* these?
Alright, buckle up because this is a question I ask myself *daily*. Legit. I'm picturing you, probably scrolling through, eye-rolling at another company trying to sound like they're totally in touch. Look, the "official" answer is usually something about "providing helpful information." And yeah, that's *part* of it. But the REAL reason? Well, I'm hoping to stave off the *hundreds* of repetitive emails I get. Seriously, I swear I could write a bot to automate the response to half these questions. Okay, maybe that is the goal… But also... I actually *do* like connecting with people, even if it’s through digital pigeon of answers. Plus, it lets me rant a bit. Which, honestly, is therapeutic.
Okay, okay, but *specifically* what kind of "stuff" are we talking about here? What is this even *for*? Like, product questions? Lifestyle advice? Existential pondering???
Okay, good question! I get it. The world's already full of generic corporate jargon. It's like... I see it, and my soul *cringes*. This is the place where I would answer on the stuff we do. But not the official stuff. Like, I’m going to tell you the *truth*. Probably. So, while I might try to be helpful, sometimes I get distracted by squirrel-level thoughts. So, you'll find the usual suspects – "How do I…?" questions, "What are the…?" explorations. Maybe a sprinkle of 'Why do I do the things I do?' (Don't judge!) Consider me your slightly chaotic, but hopefully, helpful, guide. Expect the unexpected.
I have the most basic questions. Am I being *annoying* to ask?
Listen, I have *no* gatekeeping here. If you like to ask the same query twenty times? Go for it. There is no silly query. Trust me, I’ve heard it all. And, honestly, the "basic" questions are usually the ones that get to the heart of the matter. Better to ask and be sure than to be lost in a swamp of confusion. I would say everyone has felt a little daunted by the technical. So seriously, fire away! I *promise* I won't judge you. (Okay, maybe a *tiny* bit if it's something that's already explained five times on the front page. But even then... I try to be kind, mostly.) Even if I’ve answered it a million times, I'll try and provide the most sincere answer.
How long will this FAQ page be updated?
Ah, the perpetual question. Real answer? Until I get bored or fired. Probably both, at some point. But in the meantime, I'm planning on keeping this page alive with the latest questions of course. It's a never-ending process of addition and subtraction, like a digital bonsai tree. I like to think of it as a living document, constantly evolving. Expect updates, revisions, and maybe even the occasional existential crisis. You've been warned.
My question isn't here. What do I do? (Seriously, I have a *real* problem.)
Okay, first – take a deep breath. It's probably not *that* bad. Probably. Maybe. If you've genuinely searched and can't find the answer here (or on the other, far-too-formal pages), then *gasp*... you have options! Send me an email, but prepare to wait. I'll do my best to help, but please, *please*, be specific. The more information you give me, the better. One-word emails like, "Help!" generally don't get you to the head of the line. Unless it’s accompanied by a bribe of cookies. Or preferably, chocolate.
